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Something This Way Filker Comes

by Pete Grubbs

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1.
When the night is cold and empty and I'm all alone in bed And visions of our love affair run riot through my head, Who do I turn to to see the long night through? Anyone, anyone but you. Yes, I'd rather have a hamster, a gerbil or a squirrel, Or spend the night with Wanda, the lifelike blowup girl. And when the day is dark and cloudy, torrential rains come pounding down, And the rising waters devastate our wretched little town. As survivors swirl around me I know just who I'll rescue, Anyone, anyone but you. But you mustn't think I'm bitter because you broke my heart, Wrecked my car, burned down my house, tore my whole world apart. No, I'm just an old romantic and I think you ought to be In the arms of one who makes you so much happier than me. And I'm sure he didn't mean it when he chucked you out the door, Said he didn't want to see you around Hell any more, 'cause you know that he's a liar, but to give the Devil his due, he wanted Anyone, anyone but you.
2.
(Chorus) I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. And I know I'm gonna witness, things I never seen before. I'll see a foolish man be silent, I'll see a wise man speak. I'll see a lazy man workin' hard right on through the week. I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. And I know I'm gonna witness, things I never seen before. I'll see an honest politician and she won't tell me any lies, She won't hide behind no fancy talk or phony alibis I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. And I know I'm gonna witness, things I never seen before. Seen a rich man, seen a poor man, seen a beggar man and a thief, But have you ever seen a man who truly lives by his beliefs? I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. And I know I'm gonna witness, things I never seen before. I'll see a world that doesn't care about the color of my skin, If I am tall, if I'm short, if I'm fat or if I'm thin, I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. And I know I'm gonna witness, things I never seen before. Well you might think we need to see that blue moon risin' every night, But I know it's down to us to take the wrong and make it right, I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. I seen a blue moon risin' seen it risin' through my door. And I know I'm gonna witness, things I never seen before.
3.
My Old Man 04:24
My old man's a fireman – what do you think about that? He wears a fireman's boots and he wears a fireman's hat. And some day if I can I'm gonna be a fireman just like my old man. My old man's a farmer – what do you think about that? He wears a farmer's boots and he wears a farmer's hat. And some day if I can, I'm gonna be a farmer just like my old man. My old man's a Unix system administrator – what do you think about that? He wears a Unix system administrator's boots and he wears a Unix system administrator's cap. And some day if I can, I'm gonna be a Unix system administrator just like my old man. My old man's a Dorsai – what do you think about that? He wears a Dorsai's boots and he wears a Dorsai's hat. And some day if I can, I'm gonna be a Dorsai just like my old man. My old man's a con-chair – what do you think about that? He wears a con-chair's boots and he wears a con-chair's hat. And one day if I can, I won't be a con-chair, I'm not nuts like my old man. My old man's a filker – what do you think about that? He wears filker's boots and he wears a filker's hat. And some day if I can, I'm gonna change my name so they don't know he's my old man. My old man's a skader, that's what I came to say. He wears forty pounds of armor plate and a pig-faced basinet. And one day if I can, I'm gonna get a can opener so I can talk to my old man.
4.
5.
I gave my love a toaster that had no cord; I gave my love that had no board; I gave my love a Chevy with no front end; I gave my love a chicken with no cluckin'; How can there be a toaster that has no cord? How can there be an iron that has no board? How can there be a Chevy with no front end? How can there be a chicken with no cluckin'? Well a toaster from the dumpster, it has no cord; And an iron from my golf bag, it has no board; My red-neck cousin's Chevy has no front end; And a chicken from the Colonel, that's no cluckin'.
6.
7.
He sits on a barstool to watch the big game, While I sit and play my guitar. He hollers, 'Hey buddy, now what was your name? 'To get here, didja have to drive far?' Before I can answer he orders a drink, Makes a pass at the barmaid and gives her a wink, And forgets all about me as his nose turns to pink, While I sit and play my guitar. Two rows behind me sits a family of four Who came out to have a nice meal. The mother looks fragile, the father looks bored 'Til the little girls let out a squeal. They sound like the brakes on an 18-wheeled truck, The drunk at the bar does a cover and duck And I'm thinkin' that I should avoid the word 'flammable' While I sit and play my guitar. There's a loving young couple in the booth in the back Who are lost in a world of their own. They could star in a movie called 'When Tongues Attack' Coming soon to your nearest iPhone. In her left-hip pocket she's got a bus pass, Peaking out through the rip that shows off half her ass, But her boyfriend will find it before it's lost in the grass, While I sit and play my guitar. Strutting up to me is a former prom queen with a song that she just has to hear. She flashes a smile and she's workin' her jeans that she's got painted onto her rear. She could once make a man thank God he was a live, But her trim girlish figure didn't really survive, She's been poundin' the Pounders since '75, While I sit and play my guitar. There's John the owner, he's in charge of this crew, And he walks through the room with a grin. He just loves my music and all the songs I can do, And he thanks me for bringing folks in. I can't hear my voice for the roar of the crowd, That fills up the building and batters the clouds, And he says, 'Can you turn down, you're a little too loud, While you sit there, playin' your guitar.' I have been here five hours, but it feels like ten years, My fingers are tingling and sore. As I case up my Martin and tear down my gear, Someone yells, 'Buddy, play just one more!' 'You're a heluva picker; you're our favorite draw; Do you know any Skynnerd? how about some Outlaws?' But my tip jar is empty and I'm pissed-off because, All their talk is dirt-cheap, you can't spend the applause That you get when you're playin' guitar.
8.
It's a damn rough life when you're hunting snipe with friends who insist that you roam. And they don't give a damn how you fuss or you whine or you tell them that you want to go home. They will haul your ass through the mud and the grass in their search for elusive quarry, And they'll lie through their teeth while you're lost on the heath, Hunting snipe at 2:30. Hunting snipe at 2:30, me lads, hunting snipe at 2:30. Yes they'll lie through their teeth while you're lost on the heath, Hunting snipe at 2:30. There's a gal named Gale and her brother named Dale and their cousin who's name is Ned; There's Bob and there's Frank and there's Bubba and Tank, and some guy with a coon on his head. See them laugh and jeer as they drink their beer and make fun of New Jersey, Then they're off on the trail of a mythical quail, hunting snipe at 2:30. Hunting snipe at 2:30, me lads, hunting snipe at 2:30. Yes they're off on the trail of a mythical quail Hunting snipe at 2:30. It's here and it's there and it's everywhere, even though it does not exist. Your clothes are soaked and you're ready to croak like the frogs that you hear in the mist. While you're friends nearby who are perfectly dry stand and laugh at your misery. You'd be better off in bed, with a hole in your head, than hunting snipe at 2:30. Hunting snipe at 2:30, me lads, hunting snipe at 2:30. You'd be better off dead with a hole in your head, Don't hunt snipe at 2:30.
9.
Great Minds 01:40
10.
(Chorus) Down too long, Lord I have been down too long; Down too long, Lord I have been down too long. Wake up in the morning and the sun don't shine, Lord I have been down too long, Got a lot of nothin' and I know it's mine, Lord I have been down too long. (Chorus) Down too long, Lord I have been down too long; Down too long, Lord I have been down too long. Starin' out the window at the pourin' rain, Lord I have been down too long, Never thought I'd find myself back here again, Lord I have been down too long. (Chorus) Down too long, Lord I have been down too long; Down too long, Lord I have been down too long. Reachin' out to someone who can dry all my tears, Lord I have been down too long. Reachin' to someone who can calm all my fears, Lord I have been down too long. (Chorus) Down too long, Lord I have been down too long; Down too long, Lord I have been down too long.
11.
Smicksburg 02:32
12.
Big Dog dances, Pretty Dog prances As we walk by the shores of the sea. Rugged Rat giggles, Little Bear wiggles his toes While he smiles up at me. Old Mother Ocean, in perpetual motion, Sings a song to greet the brand new day. Out on the horizon, the new sun is risin'; Golden light fills the bay. We walk by the seaside; wait for an ebb tide To carry our troubles far away. There's no need to worry, no need to hurry, Got nothin' to do with the rest of the day. And Old Mother Ocean, she's taken the notion To splash our feet as we walk by. Seagulls are flyin', wheelin' and cryin', They soar and dance through the summer sky. I've filled my life with daydreams and fantasies; They're the only things that I call my own. The winter wind howls down through these empty streets; My kids are long gone and I'm all alone. We're watchin' the sun set; I tell my daughter it'll get wet; And the Rugged Rat laughs 'cause her old man's so weird. Up in the night sky, Stars are twinklin' a goodbye, Little Bear buries his face in my beard. Oh Mother Ocean, please hear this devotion And bring my babies back to me; I'm cold and I'm lonely, but I'd be alright if only, We could go walking down by the sea, Little Bear and Rugged Rat and me.
13.
14.

credits

released April 2, 2012

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Pete Grubbs Brookville, Pennsylvania

I started performing music when I was 6, turned pro at 20ish & spent well over 30 years tracking down as many gigs a month as possible. While those days are behind me, I'm still making calculated noise. My music lives where rock, classical, folk, blues & parody hang out. Oddly enough, one of their favorite haunts appears to be in collections of my songs--you'll find a bit of each on every track. ... more

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